went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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