What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
