Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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