yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
