Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
id be glad to
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
