Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i don't like sucking hair
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
