I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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