who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
