I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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