i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
