walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
