all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
