peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
