You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
