my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
