oh god the rape fog is back!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
