please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
