You're so nebulous sometimes
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
