Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
