I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
