Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My ass is underappreciated
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
