is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
