so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The uberlube is also flammable
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
