Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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