dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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