went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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