chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
