the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
