When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
