i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
