Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
