Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
