omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
