Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
