My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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