And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
