just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We have started to decorate penises.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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