True but thats because hes a fetus.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
