How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I intend to get homeless drunk
what is it with giant penises always finding me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
