Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
