OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
