Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize