Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize