Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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