ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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