Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize