It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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