I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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