I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
