she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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