I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The beer is more important than you right now.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
