There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
