last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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