Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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