but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
