Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
