Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The best revenge is premature balding
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
