I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize