It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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