He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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