Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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