the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
be right there i have to get my cape
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
