He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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